Hen Do Survival Guide

The Hen Party Survival Guide

Grab a pen and paper. If you are about to embark on a Hen Party, then these are things you certainly need to know. 

THE HEN

First off, every Hen Do needs a Hen. Or else it’s simply a ‘Do’. Some things we will cover are probably
desirable as opposed to essential. But for the purpose of this exercise, a hen falls into the latter.

Without creating a flow chart, ask the question: ‘Is she getting married?’ If it’s a ‘yes’, move on.

MAID OF HONOUR

At this point, the bride-to-be will have her maid of honour picked out. That basically means all the hen do
organising duties fall upon her shoulders. Unless you are that designated individual, your part in
proceedings is simply to have fun. If the maid of honour is you – your work begins now.

THE PLAN

A pretty crucial part of the hen do. Without a plan, it’s just a group of girls all assembled in one place
staring blankly at one another. Yes, you need a plan – and it needs to definitely involve alcohol or your
popularity will plummet and serious questions will be raised about your selection as maid of honour.

Which takes us nicely into the next part of the guide.

DESTINATION

This will be mashed up with ‘The Plan’. Decisions should be made about where, when, who and how.

The ‘when’ bit would have already be chosen. A date (or dates) already picked and cleared by perspective
employers and jealous or fearing partners of attendees.

‘Who’ refers to who goes along. Generally, it’s family and friends of the bride and perhaps the mother-in-
law too if the hen is drunk when making the list.

Now we come to the ‘where’ and ‘how’. Recent hen dos have tended to pull away from the former
tradition of filling a minibus and having a night out in somewhere like Margate. Nowadays, the journey to
oblivion tends to begin at an airport.

Destination is crucial. It has to fit the mood of the occasion so a trip to Greek ruins isn’t perhaps the best
shout.

Think sun, sea, sand and sangria. Now you are closer to hitting the mark. Delve further – go with a
Balearic island and you might as well stick a pin in any of them.

ALCOHOL

Maybe in the history of hen dos, there has been the odd dry one. You’d probably struggle to find any
evidence of a time when zero alcohol was consumed, but they might exist along with mermaids and
unicorns.

If you do discover one in days of yonder, it would be a rarity and certainly far from keeping with modern
traditions.

Let’s assume the airport lounge is the first port of call. Any large gathering of pink cowboy hats is usually
a sign that a hen party is beginning. Matching t-shirts have often been printed which will visually
announce the name of the bride-to-be as well as the groups destination.

Examples would possibly read: “Tracy’s Hen Do – Ibiza 2021”. These aren’t overly cryptic and you
wouldn’t need to complete The Times crossword in less than five minutes to figure the message out.

Unless it’s an elaborate and quite baffling hoax, Tracy will be getting drunk in Ibiza ahead of her
upcoming wedding day.

If you happen to be heading to the same place they are, don’t expect a peaceful flight. Although it’s
always well spirited – no pun intended – but certainly recognised.

Somewhere over the French Riviera will be the point the onboard drinks trolley starts to look like
someone has taken a giant bite out of it. Mini bottles of prosecco will become sought after items and the
airline staff will be up and down the plane aisle like an Olympic swimmer.

The plane journey is typically the place that songs are either born or un-tunefully revealed. You can
almost set your watch to a dreadful rendition of ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’ somewhere over the
Portuguese coastline.

Alcohol will go on to play a pivotal role in the weekend’s proceedings. The blame of most activities
witnessed will be laid firmly at the door of drink.

PARTYING

Almost goes without saying that a Hen Party won’t include a fair share of this. In fact, it’s unlikely that
aspect will ever be removed from the festivities.

Sleep over this journey of debauchery and frivolity is almost a forgotten word. That can be caught up on
when the party is over and the body is clambering for some kind of mental rest bite.

A TOLERANCE TO ALCOHOL

As you’ve probably suspected at this point, being able to handle your drink on a hen do is almost a
prerequisite.

This is twofold. The tolerance during the consumption needs to be adequate. If not, you are either
checking out early or heading for the mother of all hangovers.

We all have that one friend within our group who can proudly boast to never getting a hangover. On this
trip, you really want to be them. Even though it’s probably nothing to be immensely proud of in terms of
lifetime achievements, it’s certainly of huge benefit on weekends like this.

Eventually when you awake – and you will wish you didn’t have to – your head may well feel like a small
heavy metal band is performing a concert inside it. Unfortunately, you are invited to this and sat in the
front row.

Building a tolerance to alcohol is almost an art but definitely not rocket science. It works on the simple
yet basic premise of ‘the more you drink, the less it affects you’.

Something that is perfected by years of consuming copious and often ridiculous amounts of alcohol until
your body almost relents and understands this is a regular occurrence. At that point, it stops letting you
know that it doesn’t like it. Think of it more of a cerebral acceptance than a tolerance. A surrender if you
will.

Put it to the test

Well that is pretty much it. Your survival guide in glorious graphic detail. But sickness and headaches
aside, you’ll probably return home with vague memories of what was a great trip away with friends.

You swear never to touch another drop of alcohol ever again. But then the wedding comes around and
your promises to that hungover dissipate relatively quickly.

However, if it is a Bierkeller venue you choose for these wild celebrations, then once the feeling of
sobriety resurfaces, no memories of a hangover will deter you from planning your next social gathering
here with us.

At the Bierkeller, we are all about making memories. Let us create yours.

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